Thursday, November 30, 2006

Under the brown fog of a winter dawn

I guess today is the last day of NaBloPoMo. Considering I post around frequently, this wasn't difficult. I saw one blogger who had kept a list and sooooo many people had dropped out. I can't say I had great content every day, but I did post. Quantity vs. content on this challenge. Same as NaNoWriMo and NaPoWriMo (who has my heart). Of course I prefer doing better content, but I have to say I do like hearing from those blogs I read. Voices shine.

I realized this morning, to continue the tiny theme that seems to have emerged this month, that it has been 10 years since we spent a month in Edinburgh. My daughter was 1 1/2 and I just thought doing that was the craziest idea ever. If you saw us wheeling all of her stuff around the ramps in Heathrow, you might agree. When it all toppled on a tight turn, that was even funnier. When my husband's wallet got pick pocketed near Big Ben, less so. Travelling for any amount of time with small children is like preparing for battle on some distant shore. And you won't have supply lines either. Thank goodness we had already purchased the train tickets up to Edinburgh. It became a contest to see how little money we could spend, while still trying to have a sort of vacation. Castles aren't expensive, and girl toddlers like such things, princesses and all. It worked.

I should google some of the people we met there. See where they are now. Finding where you are is a good thing. The ever important mapping of journey.

Have a great day. Enjoyed this effort, hope you did too. Stay tuned to see what happens next. Ha.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

I don't know

I was thinking of doing a post of things today that I did know. But those around me did not seem to know. Although they were the ones that should have known. But I am not a vindictive person, particularly, so I won't. But in my mind, I am jumping around with a bunch of nananana's. Yes, a certain part of me will always be three.

I don't particularly like when I feel like this, this assuredness really doesn't suit me when it is only putting down others. So I speak not of this sort of thing, except here. That is amusing too. It is too bad that in some places, the only glee is vindictive. Sour seeds to sow and that sort of idea.

Have a great evening. Now I will wander off to the just noticed boiling water for noodles.


This is just really very good.

More later.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Things I have learned today

  • I am not ready for my daughter's teenage years. I will never be. Given that she isn't one yet, it worries me some. It should. That is OK.
  • William Shakespeare's 17th sonnet is more brilliant every time I read it. That is wonderful.
  • Not speaking correct Danish in Denmark will result in double breakfasts. That is amusing.
  • Blogging is misperceived by some people. When they have some influence, that can be troubling, but when they don't they just look stupid. When their view is discounted because it is so wrong, that is even more amusing.
  • A story about camping trips to Alaska, written by a 7 year old, that reach to 17 pages, are impressive. The dialogue even moreso.
  • Windy trickster weather that starts out warm and humid, but plunges to cold and dreary isn't my favorite kind. But I knew that already.
  • Keeping a laptop Word file open in front of the tv, while watching same, to keep a running list of possible Christmas gifts to suggest to Santa, is brilliant.

Have a great day.

Monday, November 27, 2006

To blopo, or not to blopo, that is the question (not really)

The highlight of the morning, so far, was my son acting out Hamlet's "To be or not to be" soliloquy with my Shakespeare puppet. And pretending to write some of his story with my Shakespeare doll, the one that holds a quill. His commentary on Hamlet's whining was amusing too. I don't know what brought that on, maybe just the dolls.

The lowlights will not appear here, now.

At 10:12, I still have a long day a head of me. Wish me good shopping, because we are off to do that momentarily.

Have a good one!!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Time again

For those that celebrate it, 30 days until Christmas.

Yesterday this blog passed 2000 page loads. Boggling to me. So thank you.

This morning on Meet the Press Arnold Schwarzenegger actually seemed reasonable regarding this country's future. More boggling. Maybe the less than reasonable Republicans are being or will be cast aside. Can only hope. Oooh, first time I have ever talked politics here.

I opened several Word files yesterday to work on my story, but then my son needed, wanted, to work on his. How could I let that pass? I couldn't. I have a room of my own, but more time, time is needed. How long is a day again?

Twenty year chunks seem short now. They never used to, but now they do.

Proust, yes, I am still reading him, in bits as it is very rich, has somehow worked his magic on my memory. So much is coming back lately. The gist of this month's Nablopomo has been on account of that. Dresser drawers and such. Four more posts after this one, and I will have spent a third month here, posting every day. April 05, April 06 and now November 06. Marking that time.

Have a great day!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Best of's

Hold overs from Thanksgiving I think.

Best new idea: realizing I can post music elsewhere.

Best new word heard: mathemagical

Best meltdown: my daughter realizing we were Christmas shopping for others

Best stuffing: with tarragon

Best pie: not sure because I didn't have it

Best lemon curd thread: over on PFFA

Best work slam: Tuesday, still floating with glee on that one!

Best poem read: This Is All by Pam Brown

Best hug: my son because he offered a back rub too!!

Have a good day filled with several best of's!

Friday, November 24, 2006

New centuries

Or something.

Just used eBay for the first time. Not for me. I don't feel the eBay urge. But I am glad I could bring some of my husband's childhood back to him. He found a few games he used to play that were for sale. We bought three.

Other than that slow morning. Uploading music, I really am enjoying that. I ate a Nutella puff pastry too. From yesterday's breakfast.

I think other than this afternoon's attempt at the mall (help me!!) this is going to be a lazy dazy day.

Have a good one, no matter what you choose to do!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Things between

Between cleaning the turkey, and making jam filled puff pastry for breakfast, I read a poem that was lovely. Sometimes really harsh events are made [insert word as I can't decide] by writing about it. I just read a poem that did that. It was so lovely, filled with longing, even after many years. Merging the pain and the love and the loss and doing it well is very difficult. I know, I have tried. This person did. So yay.

Nice way to start the morning. Sometimes when you have seen hell, and survived, and didn't know why you could survive, the change it causes is almost bigger than that hell. Or longer lasting anyway. Muted over the years a little, but not really.

In other news the doctor who is working on the syndrome that claimed our son has a few new papers out. Gotta read those. Not a scientist here, but the bits I can glean help a little.

The turkey is soaking, and the bread for the stuffing is drying. So between those I have gotten a little writing done here and there. More later today I am hoping.

Have a lovely day. Make it worth it.


Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Challenges, cornucopia runneth over...

I think the greater challenge for Thanksgiving is not to give the standard thanks, or be grateful, because most of us are or at least know we should be, but to place the wants in a more proper place. Maybe to not to be beholden to those wants in a way that lessens the gratitude for what we already have. Selfishness has a place, definitely, heck survival sometimes, but for most of us, what we have is so very large, the ability to actually be grateful is even more icing on that cake. If you have time to be grateful, you are even luckier you do. Some people don't have that.

In some ways none of us really deserve anything, no giant spreadsheet in the sky making sure we get what should be due, but that also negates the good stuff. The accounting of life means that we have the time and ability to actually add it up. Probably time that would be more wisely spent elsewhere.

The what we deserve concept has been eating up some of my time lately too. I realize that as much as the kind and the good should be rewarded, because hey, fairness, it is only sometimes given that expression. So it becomes a concept of reward. And that is accounting again.

Once again I am running in circles. Like the lucky, filled with received desires, Thanksgiving cornucopia, spewing its contents. Have a great evening.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


I don't think no matter how old I get, I won't be surprised by how a day can turn. With no expectations, of anything really, or maybe expecting the same old same old, which gets really old, very quickly, the day will change, and give you the most unexpected surprises, none of which you could have ever imagined. For some days, that is the reason you can get out of bed. Because you know that it might change. Might is a mighty strong word.

Today was one of those days. And for that I am very glad. And grateful too. The weariness that can hold you back, can't keep you back. There is a big distinction between those.

I guess this is turning into a Thanksgiving post. Gratitude is pretty heady stuff too. I have written about that before, so I won't again. But I wanted to mark it here today.

Song and wine, is how this day will end. That is a good thing too. Have a lovely evening!

Monday, November 20, 2006


Soft Cell was right you know. Sigh. The last 24 hours have been filled with frustrations of assorted kinds. Amazing in their variety really.

Well not the last stanza of the song at least.

I need to revise a few poems. I really should be doing that. A sonnet I posted elsewhere I took down because there was no metre. It was pissing me off with its lack of any metre. I have to fix that. Glaring.

Still waiting for repair people. I love how they give ranges of times. Wouldn't that be a nice way to live? Oh, I be there when I can. Sorry.

Will stop now, because this is just adding to my annoyance.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Shocking I say, shocking!

Ya wanna know how to shock your kids senseless? Put some makeup on. Just had a lovely thrill doing that to my children. They both agreed that they prefer me "plain". Ha!

I usually don't wear makeup, I can't be bothered to do that. Because the makeup coming off is too shocking for my system. I would prefer not to have that thrown at me every day. I think that is a danger of getting older, the shock of sudden change, rather than the gradual wearing away, plus I think the makeup just exacerbates the wrinkles and stuff anyway.

But shocking the kids was fun. I will keep makeup for that special treat. Yes, I can be a very mean mom. The dirty little secrets of good mothers, is that sometimes their kids drive them nuts, and these little passive/aggressive albeit harmless games does a heart good. I tend to think that if a mom, or dad, can't admit that, then they just might be holding on to the bad for a little too long. Which does no one any good. Being a parent shows you who you really are, brings out the very best and the very worst in any one. Hence the difficulty of the task. And the reward.

Have a great day! Go shock your kids ;-)

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Whipper snapper, Max the dog who would be king

Seussian FYI. They have plush Dr. Seuss Christmas toys at Kohl’s. We just bought Max, the dog that would be king. Or at least rides a sleigh as if he was. The store was packed but my daughter and I maneuvered around the throngs like the Grinch going down the mountain. ::snaps whip::

Plus we got a few gifts too. Gone just for an hour or so, but we got a good start. We did a budget earlier today to show the kids who much Christmas costs. My daughter added up the total and was surprised. Yeah, I know how she feels. I do love Kohl’s for inexpensive, trendy and useful gifts.

The list is long but not unwieldy. We do gift exchanges amongst my side’s siblings so that makes it easier too. No great plans for Thanksgiving. Just hang out and maybe cook a turkey product of some kind. I think Thanksgiving here is too close to Christmas. The Canadian choice of timing is more conducive to keeping the turkey love alive. With American Thanksgiving it really does feel piled on.

Have a lovely weekend! We are three fifths of the way done! Keep it going!!

Friday, November 17, 2006


I can't remember if I have posted about this before. I think I have. Either way, I love the name and history and noxiousness of this plant. With a name like that you would think it would be luscious and a plant every gardener would want to grow.

I was stunned when googling for my story to find the real name of what we always called a stinkweed tree. I love that incongruity. Very much. I do tend to like to be surprised about facts such as this. Long history this plant has.

When I was a kid there was one next door that the owners had allowed to reach huge heights. Eventually some sort of bug infested it, and it was finally removed. The bugs were so numerous that my parents couldn't even sit on their porch in the evening. A true infestation that affected the surrounding areas. This tree I am using in my story. Yes, Trapper still resides in this blog, despite my recent NaBloPoMo efforts. Trying to round it back here. I started rereading the yet unnumbered chapter, and found the link. I don't number chapters until I know where they shall go. Still undecided on the parental death chapter. Partly flashback, partly not. Hence the unnumbering.

Also noticed upon rereading this bit in this chapter, seems to be a theme in my writing. Scary that. I really do pull back from that. I am not yet comfortable with seeing the themes emerge. I thought this was supposed to be fiction. I am making it up, but alas, stuff surfaces. I guess I can't go forth until I get a hold on that. The fact that I do broken children comfortably scares me a lot. I have seen broken children, so I know. I wish I didn't. But not really, either. They need their story told too.

Oh, and the Serephim name is lurking around too. Plot bunnies with fallen angels, multiple wings, heh, I might have to do something with that too!

So little time. Have a great day!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Wishes and spice

I finally officially started my Christmas shopping. I had purchased a few things in the summer, forgot I had purchased those things, bought the same people new gifts but all of that wasn't official. I now have officially begun. Went to the mall and everything. Some luck, but ugh, the mall. Really kills the Christmas spirit.

Plus the war and all, that doesn't exactly do much for it either, given that people are dying. Focus shouldn't be on commercialism. Kind of galling.

But now started. A few good ideas for a few people. Imagine that, actually lining up wants with the actual findings. One gift purchased already in the non-official phase, is the most perfect gift I may ever buy. I peaked early this year.

And it isn't even American Thanksgiving yet. I guess if I go by Canada's Thanksgiving, the timing is a little better.

Now to think about other stuff, and um, dinner. Oh, the chili feed, good news update. They had a shaker of spice, so the chili actually had some flavour. Who knew?

Have a great day!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Chili feed, and no, I don't know if that is a verb or not

We are off to a "chili feed" shortly. The name is disgusting I think. When I eat I don't want it to be referred to as a "feed". It sounds like something you feed to chili to make it grow, sort of like processed american cheese being referred to as "cheese food". In addition to the chili, which is pretty standard bland stuff, they serve baby carrots with ranch dressing, oyster crackers, and a mix of raisins and candy. Oh, and a cinnamon roll. That combination of foods is the tradition here for large group dinners at grade schools. Until I moved here, I had never heard of chili with a cinnamon roll. Cinnamon in my chili but never with a roll. Cinnamon rolls are for breakfast, not dinner.

The problem with serving large groups of people, is that a common denominator needs to be achieved, and then no one is happy. Well, not me anyway. That is why I never host a potluck. If I have guests, I will feed them. I don't need to have them bring food, wine yes! but never food. I will do that. Plus, half the time I go to potlucks, I get food poisoning. No luck there.

Wish me luck! Off to the feed! Urghh.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


Normally I don’t like posting on blogs in the evening. I am tired, I am a little pissy but mostly I feel rushed. I really hate feeling rushed. So as the day ticks down, here I am at 6:40, post dinner, thinking about what to write. Before the kids need to get to bed, and before husband needs the computer. Rushed.

There is a "10 weird things about me" meme going around. I think I did that before. One thing I did note about that meme, is most of the items people list I don’t think that weird. Not really anyway. The texture that makes us, us.

I was also contemplating blue again. My favorite colour for most of my life. I have changed shades, but never really lost the blue joy. My favorite of the blues is what I call midnight blue. That inky, but not purple, blue shade that is the colour of the sky right before sunrise. It isn’t black, and it is lit just a certain way.

People always complement me when I wear clothes the colour of the baby blue sky, but I really don’t like that shade of blue very much. People say it brings out my eyes. Granted, but I think when I wear grey that does excellent things to my eyes. A deeper darker blacker blue shade. When I was in college, I found a shade of nail polish that was exactly the colour of my eyes. I posed a lot when wearing that colour. Would kinda freak people out that the colour was such a match. Much fun! It gave them something to focus on rather than my spiky ever-changing hair colour.

For a while when my children still had blue eyes, for a month or two before they turned their final hazel colour, their irises were ringed with gold. The best eye colour ever. I have only seen that a few times in my life.

Have a great evening.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Newton update

Newton is still hanging in that tree. I can't believe that. A whole season, one winter, through the spring and now after all of the leaves on that tree have fallen, I can still see him. He is still there!!

Talk about dedication and commitment. Wow!


My son is doing a family tree for his class project for Thanksgiving. They were given a clothespin that they have to dress in their family custom. Since most his family tree is Scottish, he elected to dress this pin with a kilt and a bagpipe. The idea of a man in a skirt was very amusing to him. We printed out the appropriate tartan and I pleated it into a skirt for this doll. He did the rest. It looks adorable. We printed out a bagpipe and he taped it to the doll.

What surprised me about this exercise was the family history I learned. I wasn’t sure of my great grandfather’s name (mother’s father’s father). My mum wasn’t sure either, but she called her sister and found out that his name was Seraphim. How cool is that? Highest rank of angels!! I love that too much. His wife’s name, I haven’t gotten a handle on yet. Everyone called her Mimie (pronounced Mim me). I was supposed to be named after her, Victoria, but the pronunciation my mother uses, doesn’t work. The French translation for Victoria is Victoria, yet she pronounces it like Vitolynn. I have to find out why that is.

There are so many blades of grass lurking around our family tree, each small, hidden amongst the masses, but waiting to be found.

How cool is that?!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Randomness, moms and wagons and cocktails

The NaBloPoMo randomizer has let me see a few of the other blogs participating in this effort. Surprizingly to me at least, there are many tales of woe about completing this and apparently many have fallen off the wagon. Hmm. We are at day ::checks:: 12, and I feel I have barely started.

Others have also commented on the number of moms doing this. Yes, moms have much to say, but not always anyone to say it to. This is perfectly logical to me. When you are happily at home with your children, the need to speak to adults is like chocolate decadence. Wishes and dreams. Teh internets give them this chance. I wish I had this tool when my kids were young. Woulda been nice. So yay moms on the internet. Go you!! Like a playdate without leaving the house. And without all those extra kids.

Playdates with cocktails are also now the rage apparently. When we lived in CT 5 years ago, there was one group that I knew about that did such things. Their membership was closed. No wonder. Women would friend others just to get invited. That always made me laugh. We would have our own, less organized, version of the same thing. Again, less with the mess.

Have a great day. Write people, the world is waiting!!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

More remembering for today

My dad is a veteran of the Korean War. He was 20 when he came home from that war. So very young. My dad would call it a Police Action. Still does when he talks about it. He never talks about it. When we were kids, and prowling around our basement, we knew we could never touch “the trunk”. My dad had a trunk that held his uniform, his photo album from the war and some other things we didn’t know about. And his medals. The wooden photo album was a black lacquered, stitched together Asian enameled book that held pictures of him and his buddies. Once every few years he would bring that album out and he would talk about his friends. He never gave us details of war. Ever. He told us once that he and his friends diverted a small stream through the bottom of their tent, so they would have running water. He also said that they caught a snake once to eat because they wanted fresh meat. I am not sure what he did in the war, something about mapping the course of the troops, from the back, never at the front. I always knew we were getting a very edited view of his experience. He was 17 when he went. He lied about his age.

When I think of the Korean War I ponder that black trunk in the basement that my brother and I would sneak a peak. It was forbidden and smelled that way too. Rotted and dank. Our basement flooded every once in a while when we were really young, and I think it finally had to be thrown out. He kept the medals.

He remembers even if he doesn’t speak of it often. My brother-in-law has tried to elicit information. Sometimes he is successful but not frequently. Some of us will continue to try. We can’t forget.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Dressing table update, and sour cream

Dressing table update. I just asked my mum from whence it came, (fittingly archaic given the age of this table) and she said it was in their house when they bought it 41 years ago. She said that she figured it was in the bathroom, because the bedroom would have been packed tight with the huge number of children the previous owners had. So mystery from day 2 of this writing exercise deepens.

Also, she said that her dad, my grandfather, for a treat, would put sour cream on crackers, and then sprinkle it with brown sugar. Eww. A recipe that should be lost to the ages. That story prompted by her asking me if I put sour cream on burritos. I do not. I would never ravage a delicious burrito in that manner. The flavours from the burrito itself should be enough to carry the taste. If not, why would one bother eating it in the first place? For some things, yes, I am a purist. Not most, because the world is never that black and white, but for others, completely.

This looks to be a ramble, and I have to leave to go and get said burrito –black bean and guacamole, OMG it is delicious. Maybe shredded beef with that, I don’t know what my mood will be.

Have a great evening!

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Gangster of Blop

Pie. Bad song lyrics. “I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree.” !!! Ya, stuff like that. All possible topics considered earlier today for this post. Heard The Joker, Steve Miller song on the radio driving home from work. What was he thinking? He isn’t Solomon. Heh. Song yes, but that is as far as I would go with that.

Book group tonight. Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card. Was my favorite novel for quite some time. Even now, rereading it for the who knows how manyith time, it still grabs me. Not a fan of the Card much any more, but I have to say the man can write characters and plot.

I started reading it to my son. He didn’t see Ender as a victim, he saw him as a cutthroat little kid. Interesting that. I always empathized with Ender for a variety of reasons. But my son has had a very different life experience so he is unable to make that empathetic jump. No problem, I am just glad he is able to read at that level.

Yesterday I suggested to my daughter that she sign up for NaNoWriMo because the story she is writing is already 20 pages, single-spaced. Impressive IMO. Puts me to shame would be more accurate.

Lalala. Um, Pie. ::considers:: Yum pie. /Homer moment. I may make a key lime pie later today or tomorrow. Or more aptly named, 5 Minutes To Pie pie.

Have a great day. Maybe more later as I am home from work now. Pie.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Change is in the air.

There are changes a foot. Political, yay, personal too in that work changes will happen soon, and weather today is warm and 80+. No pigs in the sky just yet. But the day isn't over yet.

November is usually one of those months I don't notice because I am looking forward to Christmas. April used to be like that also, because I was looking forward to Spring and Summer. April isn't like that anymore, ::looks at Napowrimo:: so maybe change in November will become a way in my life.

Short post today, because so much is happening. Maybe tomorrows will have a little more substance. Maybe not. You just never know.

Have a great evening.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Smarties boxes

Yesterday I was reminded of a childhood memory. In Canada there is such a candy called Smarties, much like M&M’s but sweeter. And without the copy written m of course. I usually pick up a box when we are back in Canada. Just one because I am rather partial to Aero chocolate bars. Freeze Aero bars and then you have a smashingly icy chocolate shard treat. I digress.

What I was reminded of yesterday was the musical activity associated with those Smarties boxes. I had completely forgotten. My brother, sister and I used to form musical bands using the Smarties boxes as instruments. We would stretch our lips around the opened end of the box and use it as a wind instrument. Squeezing the box would alternate the sound’s pitch. We would march around the loop through the vestibule, kitchen, dining room and living room and then back to the vestibule pretending we were in a marching band. There may or may not have been other instruments.

Another aspect to eating Smarties is the variety of ways you can actually eat them. You can:

  • Pour half the box into your mouth and crunch down on all of them. Choking hazard high.
  • You can eat one at a time, slowly letting it melt. First the candy comes off. You check its colour progression, as it turns white. Eventually it is soft enough that you can press down, flattening it into nothing.
  • You can hold it upright in your fingers, and try to crack it in half flat ways and vertical. This is the most difficult of the styles, but success allows you to eat the chocolate without eating the candy coating. You then can save up all of the candy to crunch through later.
  • You can just simply chew them one by one, but the flavour sensations are decreased without the tactile crunch or smooth.

Have a chocolate-coated day!

Yes, you

Americans. Vote.

Monday, November 06, 2006


Some nights when I go to bed, I notice the light of the moon. Nothing out of the ordinary with the moon shining of course, as it does that most nights of the month.

I noticed a brighter light last night. The light captured my eye as I was rounding the banister to go upstairs. Even though it was late, I opened the front door and stood on the porch. I leaned forward and looked overhead and around the porch roof to see the moon just past full. The thinnest wisp clouds softly buffered its brightness. They lent a tinted glaze that erased the bright edges some. I leaned forward for just a moment and held the view. I knew at that moment I would write of it this morning.

So this morning, about 20 minutes ago, when I sat up in bed, I could see still streaming moonlight, this time in the back of the house. I came down stairs to make coffee. But before I turned on any lights, I looked out the kitchen window. The moon, this time in the west, was just over the back tree. There were more clouds, puffed black and grey in the shadow of the light. They were fat and dense. No light got through these thick clouds. They were holding back the moonlight for the morning sun. The light that fell between the clouds lit the back yard, the play structure, and the now empty garden. The fallen leaves were bright moon facing, yet the deepest black beneath.

How the light strikes its target in the night has always captured me. So different from daylight, that we are used to. The blue hue that moonlight shines upon everything is my favorite colour. I don’t know what it is really named, but I call it midnight blue. Not black, not inky purple, not even just at midnight, just a shade, a moment, that needs the moon to be.

Sometimes, even in the dark, we are given a light, to be.

Have a great day!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Run or hold

“Starry night in my bedroom” at the bottom of the stairs. Or imagine with song, "Starry starry night".

Since I seem to have a theme going, I will run with it carefully.

When my daughter was in kindergarten, each week they would study one artist, and then be allowed to attempt to replicate that artist’ work. Toward the end of the year, they studied Van Gogh’s Starry Night. The kids then did a drawing using Starry Night as their inspiration. My daughter did one, a drawing of her bedroom, with the starry night sky as backdrop. She named it “Starry night in my bedroom.” It had her ceiling hold the stars. When we moved here I didn’t want it to be stuck away somewhere but she didn’t want it in her room any longer. I put it on the wall at the bottom of the stairs so we could continue to enjoy it. Unintentionally humourous, and because the kids had moved onto the next artist, she signed it XXX Picasso. Moving on.

This morning when I came downstairs to sign on online there it was as it has been for five years. Since I have spoken about memories at the top of the stairs, I thought this at the bottom of the stairs would be fodder for another day. Fodder, that which we have that can we use.

I am a packrat for this reason. Each object has memory that it elicits. Some have a famous cookie, or for me, a vanity placed in my eye view or a daughter’s drawing. Cleaning out old things is very difficult for me. I get caught in the item’s snare and it holds tight. Sometimes, the object is all that remains, and the snare keeps the memory a little more tangible. I am very aware this is true for me. I think the running part from the sentence above was more true rather than the carefully.

Have a great day.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Perpetually preterit

Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

My daughter had a sleep over last night. She and her friend traded Neopet cards, ate pizza and popcorn, and with no effort at all convinced her brother to be boy-sterous. She and her friend did finally “sleep”. But kids don’t really sleep at sleepovers. It has that name only to assuage the parents into allowing them to do this event. I went to bed at midnight, so I await their waking for news of their unadulterated bedtime. My son had a goal of 2 am. He was determined.

Sleep in heavenly peace. A Christmas entreaty and certainly one to which all parents can relate. Somewhere once I read parental advice that counseled parents to look in on and at their children sleeping at least once a night. Not for the child’s well being, but for the parents. The deceleration and quiet slowing that descends upon a child when they are sleeping is medicine for a weary parent. Their lashes fringe their cheeks, their hair muddled up askew, one arm thrown indiscriminately upon their pillow, their stuffed creatures of the night held next to their face, this a gift, the sudden inhalation of pride and love.

Your breath catches for a moment in the darkness and you know forgiveness, empathy, beauty and a pull stronger than any steel or rock and as timeless. All fortified with a kiss of remembrance and yearning for the moment to continue forever, all the while you can’t wait for morning.

Have a great day!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Day two: Dressing tables

The dressing table at the top of the stairs

When I was a little girl, my father obtained a dressing table. I don’t remember from where, maybe from a family member, or maybe from a friend. The vanity was dark brown, mahogany we presumed, with a carved mirror top. It did not sit high enough for an adult, as it was smaller than required for a woman to sit at comfortably but probably too large to be meant for a child. It had four drawers, two on each side. My sister and I filled the drawers with our trinkets and treasures and of course many pencils, pens and small pads of paper. The years passed and eventually we forgot to use it. In time, the drawers emptied. The table sat in my parent’s guest bedroom. It became a shelf for the items mom stored in that room. Eventually the stationary bicycle was put in front of it and no one talked of it anymore.

Years later, after my daughter was born, I realized that this table would be an excellent addition to her room. Little girls like gazing at themselves in the mirror. Wrapped in a soft blanket to cushion its long journey, we carefully hauled it back from Canada. I placed it in her room. She filled the drawers with trinkets and treasures mirroring my conduct when I was a girl. She hung her purses off of the carved mirror frame, her jewelry and other items she valued. The top of the mirror held her hair bands and scarves. But as with my sister and me, young girls forget the magic puffs of their past play, as other thoughts begin fill their mind.

Last week I took the dressing table from her room. She wanted to make room for a lounge pillow arrangement so she could listen to her music. Space for those activities are now more valuable than for dressing up. I placed the dresser in the upstairs hallway. I decided not to put it in our guest room. I think I want this dresser to be where I can see it, enjoy it again. So every time I climb the stairs, I can see these memories. I can look in the mirror of memory, and see this table as it was. Sadly, I can’t see the table, as it first was, years and years ago, before it came to me, to know the first woman or girl to use it. Maybe to preen and place a hat gently upon her head, with her headed tilted pleasantly, or use a powder puff that would scent her lightly, softening and dusting her skin. Or the pearl handled brush which she would brush her long hair. This table lends itself to the imaginary and to the actual. Old objects succeed with that, their history is both the story they can tell, and also that which is too intimate that they hold it close and never reveal. Those they hold close, open the viewer to what was, even if it wasn’t.

Have a great day.

Thursday, November 02, 2006


I think I am doing this. Yes, I know, as if April isn't enough. I can't do Nanowrimo for a number of reasons, but this is something I might be able to do to jumpstart working on my story. Considering that the affectionate name for doing this blog posting is blop, I think that exactly right. Rather than drip drop, the royal we shall blop. Bigger and more long lasting than just drips, how does that sound? And since I actually did post yesterday, I have a two day success! It could be a dance too! Do the blop!

I do want to work on some of the poems from last April, and I do want to work on my story, and I maybe even could do book reviews. We (again!) shall see.

So have a great day, and I look forward to this newest adventure. Sometimes you need to place adventure in your life, rather than wait for it to find you! I have been learning this recently! [Dislaimer: only healthy and happy adventure, thank you very much!]


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Tags now

I think I have tagging now. ::tries::